Why do old habits die so hard sometimes. When I make this statement, honestly, I have Love habits on my mind. A lot of people compare Love to a drug; people say that Love can be very addicting. Once again, honestly, I would have to agree almost 90% of the time. I've even read that there is basis to this story in that dopamine is secreted in the brain when a person is in Love. Which gives the feeling of euphoria, therefore causing us to want more....causing us to fiend when its no longer there. *sigh* Life is complicated enough as it is without knowing this. I mean, people these days tend to casually date....which is really just putting your heart out there time and time again, never really knowing if this person is ''the one'' or if the next five will be. You know what I mean? Geezus.
Well this leads to my present thoughts. I will have to say I've probably been in Love with this one person for going on 3 years now. It is starting to hit really hard times right now though. When I say hard times...I mean, I'm not even sure if we still go together half the time. I never know anything anymore, and neither does he. It's absolutely awful. However, because of old habits...even when I know I'm pissed off at him, and I know he's wrong....I'll turn around and want to be up under him. When I go somewhere..I instinctively want to invite him. When I'm shopping I still want to get him things. I have no clue whether he does the same when he's by himself, but I know I do out of habit. It leads me terrified of the fact that if we are ''broken up'' that I will have to get over all of this. It's horribly depressing. Even if I knew it were for the best, the ''withdrawal'' would be awful. It makes me wonder, how many people out there stay together...just to avoid ever having to get over each other???
I have often caught myself wanting to fix my relationship purely off of the fear of having to get over my relationship. When I catch myself doing this, it scares the hell out of me! I mean it's so scary to have to deal with our inner emotions sometimes...and some people chose to just not deal at all. I don't ever want to become one of those people. But I am still fairly young and I haven't been in a ton of serious relationships. So it's hard to distinguish between whether I should stick around and try to work it out with this guy...or if it's run it's course and it's time to move on. How do you know when it's really over???
Well enough of this depressing-ness...but seriously, if anyone can shed some light.....please do.
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well... if it isn't clear it isn't love... so the heavy task of clarifying or destroying the relationship is the burden of those who realize that there is a sickness afflicting a relationship. if you clarify it tho, ur gonna end up dealing with the possibility that the love u thought was there might not be what you wanted it to be. it sounds childish, but one of my few pet peeves is not being able 2 hav something i want. alot of people have that same kind of fear... just because for neone when it comes down to saying you want something, and then not being able 2 have it, there is a finality in it that hurts bad inside. something about not getting what u admit publicly that you want takes away from the optimistic life that people try to live. it might sound weird but what i essentially want u to do is be definitive, without limits. something i'm too tired 2 explane right now, but i probly will if u ask me 2 some other time... lol
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