Family Etiquette

Alright, it's a new day. Same as always, I'm not sure what I shall say...but I'll figure it out once it's said. Now this blog was, in part, inspired by the last blog..but I'll try to make it shorter. Now I have this way of thinking on the subject of the word ''family'' and ''blood relations'' that not everyone agrees with. In general, so many people have so many separate standards for their family members than they do with the rest of the real world. People will walk through fire for a blood relation and turn their heads on anyone else. Yet once we get married, to someone we're not related to (lol), we're supposed to treat them like family....as do we expect our families to treat them as such. So how come we can just turn this ''family'' treatment on and off. If the ''family'' treatment is supposed to be so exclusive, why can we just dole it out as we see fit. It's always seemed unfair to me and a little unrealistic. I'm a complete fanatic about things being fair for all peoples, so of course this subject gets me every time.

Why should I treat other deserving human beings different than I would treat my family? And why do we let family damn near get away with murder, but the common stranger looks at us funny and they're doomed. I think this habit of family favoritism makes up a substantial part of why our society is a little twisted these days. I mean, when I think of how many instances I know of where a person just never could learn a lesson because of their always forgiving family members...when I think of all the naive persons who never could gain their common sense because of protective family members...I mean I could go on forever.

For instance, you always hear of that one family member that just can't stay out of jail. Within that story, there's usually that forgiving mother, father, grandparent, etc. that keeps bailing them out. On the other hand, you're supposed to respect all family members. You're told respect your mother, respect your father, and so on. This leads me to an instance I relate to.

I've always been told how much I should respect my family members, and any time I even looked like I didn't...I was looked at like the devil himself. My mother's mother(grandmother) moved in with us when I was 11. I didn't know nothing about her nor did she know the 1st thing about me. However, I was supposed to respect her and do everything she told me without question...even though she was a complete stranger to me. She turned out to be a very difficult older woman whom I rarely got along with. She used to tell me things like, ''you're one the worst children I've ever met''. At 13 yrs old I was aware of her past with my mother and uncle and I found it amusing that she could tell me anything at my age considering she never raised a teenager. My uncle left her at a young age due to her alcoholism and my mother had been in a foster home since she was 13. But I'm supposed to trust this woman's every word. I didn't understand.

Second instance, I haven't seen my father since I was one. I personally got in contact with him at 18. I'm 22. Now I'm being told how much I should respect him and take his advise and go stay with him. He is a stranger whom I know nothing about...who knows nothing about me. Why would I do any of the above things? I respect both him and my grandmother for giving me the gift of life in a way....other than that....they are and were strangers....and I treat them as such. I'm looked at so wrong for this...I've actually taught my sister to do the same. Sometimes I hope I'm not completely wrong for this, I'd feel guilty for misguiding her in life if this were to be true. Either way....I just don't get this whole family double standards.....

Should family be treated any different then anyone else? Where is the line drawn?

The Holiday Cheer

Okay, so this shall be my first ''real'' blog, so to speak. My last was just an introduction. I'll title this blog when I'm finished, because I know I'm in the mood to write what I'm thinking...but I'm not yet just sure what it is I'm thinking....so bear with me. This is the ''Holiday Season''...this time of year makes a lot of people think about a lot of things, especially to do with family. Now, this subject is a confusing one for me to toy with in my head.

In ''My Glass House'', there isn't much to be said about family...yet I have tons to say. At present, my sister and I live together...by ourselves. I'm going on 23 and my sister just turned 15 (Happy B-Day!!!). We've been living on our own for going on 3 years. We have the same mother, different fathers. We haven't seen or heard from our mother in almost three years. I moved into this apartment December 2007, my mother decided February 2008 not to continue contact with my sister and I. She somehow felt, that by me moving and getting my own place without taking her with me to pay all her bills so she could live free with no job....that this was a betrayal in a way and is now so upset that she doesn't even call to check on her 15 year old. As if a 15 year old doesn't need a mother. *sigh* I love my mother, I really do. I'm not bitter about her actions, not any longer. I'm not always confident that my sister shares my sentiment. She's young, and it's probably hard for her to fully grasp. As adults we can do some trifling things, and we can't expect the youth to understand. We teach all these morals and values and then turn around and throw them out the window when it comes to our own lives.

My sis B-Day was the 6th of December. The second Birthday she's had with no mother or father. I feel so sad for her. I won't say that to her though, I never want her to feel sad for herself or to ever feel a burden to me. Taking care of her is the biggest responsibility I've ever had so far. Yes, it's so hard...and yes, sometimes it's SO overwhelming...but I do it not because I have to, but because I want to. She has so much promise in her life, she's so gifted...and I'm not just saying that to be flattering. She's not even in the room nor will she probably see this...so if it wasn't true I would say so. Lol. She's been top of her class since elementary school. She wants to go to an Ivy League School, and I think she could do it. She sings, dances, draws, and writes songs SO well. Like it genuinely surprises me the things she can do and how well she does them at such a young age. With all this being said, I wonder how in the hell could any parent not love her to death and want to be here for every second of their existence. I mean I know I'm in the same situation and that I don't have a parental figure either...but I'm 22 now and I had my mother figure for at least 18-19 years of my life. That's almost fair, my sister has been cheated in a way.

It's holiday season, and I wonder all the time if I'm doing everything I really can for my sister. I wasn't born knowing how to raise a teenager, and I never expected to be raising my sister....it happened out of nowhere. This is no where near where i thought I would be at this age. Sometimes that makes me sad...almost makes me resentful of my mother and how different my life would have been had she just been responsible. What's done is done now..and I have to make the best of it. But this time of year is always hard and confusing for me. I feel so loved..yet so unwanted in my family life. I know my sister loves me with all her heart...and I love her the same...but then I wonder why everyone ditched us....I've always thought we were so awesome, so how come this happened to us?

I'm so scared of what my sister might think as she gets older...I don't want her to resent my mother. I'm well aware that my mother, even though she had me, is just another human being and no one is perfect. I'm sure she's done the best that she's thought she could do. But when you are young....everything is so black and white with your parents and it's hard to understand any gray.

Either way....this is what's going on in My Glass House everyday.....amongst other things. And I just wonder what tomorrow will bring.....