the rants of a woman hurt

i just dont know anymore. i just dont. why is it that history seems to repeat itself? and not in that cute, "hey look i found ten dollars"..the next day, "oh wow eleven dollars". kinda way. like the....cant believe different guys really do the same shit...like really? i mean...i just dont get it. and men dont understand how much this scars a chick. even in the simplest form i mean..it starts as a "white lie" and next thing you know im wondering if im fat. lol. i mean but its true. like...men make women sooooo insecure. good women...women who should have nothing to worry about, period. i dont get it. i know i deserve the world...i do. not saying im the only woman out there that deserves it..but i know i do. why should i ever settle for less? i mean i never really had a daddy or a big brother...but i feel like if i did..they'd be cursing me out. never settle...never...you deserve so much better than you get. that's what i think they'd say at least. i mean....i dont know. what am i doing wrong? am i doing anything wrong? maybe i just havent found the right one? i dunno....i thought i did. but ive thought that before right? how will i ever know? i thought i knew...maybe im just jumping to conclusions? its so hard to be a woman scorned...so hard...so hard to be damaged goods. im like a fuckin abused puppy...i wanna love my new owner but i loved my last one and they hurt me..what if this one hurts too? fuck my life.

Twenty - Ten

Alright..its been a minute. Haven't written anything in here since 2009...that's odd. However I do tend to write more when I'm unhappy as opposed to happy. I digress, lol. A lot has changed since I last wrote. I got rid of my no good boyfriend, got a new and better job than the last, got a car and a license....and last but not least, found the best man I've ever met in my life. Frickin gold. Lol. I really couldn't ask for more, I mean life is really going well for me right now. I don't have a lot of worries. I'm truly honestly happy. The best I can do when I'm happy is write poems, can't write many blogs because I don't have a lot to be pissed about. Haha. Oops? I might something to piss me off though and rant a little..so don't count me out yet! So I'm about to sit and attempt poetry..been a hot minute since I done that, let's see what happens. :O