the rants of a woman hurt

i just dont know anymore. i just dont. why is it that history seems to repeat itself? and not in that cute, "hey look i found ten dollars"..the next day, "oh wow eleven dollars". kinda way. like the....cant believe different guys really do the same shit...like really? i mean...i just dont get it. and men dont understand how much this scars a chick. even in the simplest form i mean..it starts as a "white lie" and next thing you know im wondering if im fat. lol. i mean but its true. like...men make women sooooo insecure. good women...women who should have nothing to worry about, period. i dont get it. i know i deserve the world...i do. not saying im the only woman out there that deserves it..but i know i do. why should i ever settle for less? i mean i never really had a daddy or a big brother...but i feel like if i did..they'd be cursing me out. never settle...never...you deserve so much better than you get. that's what i think they'd say at least. i mean....i dont know. what am i doing wrong? am i doing anything wrong? maybe i just havent found the right one? i dunno....i thought i did. but ive thought that before right? how will i ever know? i thought i knew...maybe im just jumping to conclusions? its so hard to be a woman scorned...so hard...so hard to be damaged goods. im like a fuckin abused puppy...i wanna love my new owner but i loved my last one and they hurt me..what if this one hurts too? fuck my life.